Yeah, I’ll tell you how we met. I was working as a waiter at the Asteroidea – that posh Beverly Hills restaurant that really brings in the star power.

I’d been there a few weeks before I met him. I recognized him right away when he walked in the door. You couldn’t miss it. The place went quiet as he walked to his table and sat down. He’s made more money in Hollywood than anyone. He’s a fine enough chap, but all I thought about was how could I get a piece of the action?

He’s a regular so I made it my business to hang around his table and listen to conversations. I didn’t care much for the movie talk, but when money came up I paid attention.

I remember the time he had lunch with his advisor. The guy flew in from New York to talk stocks and stuff, and Steven told him to stay away from some company I missed the name of. He said, “I don’t want any part of another Enron mess.”

I got a sense of the kinda dough they are talking and twas more than I’ll make in a lifetime. Unless I could find a way to help myself to some.

This well-dressed Wall Street guy with a diamond-thick watch paid with a credit card, and I made sure to snap a pic of it. Front and back just in case. But, I didn’t do anything with it right away. I had the guy’s name, his company’s credit card info and knew he worked for the richest man in Hollywood. There’s got to be a scam here!

Hey, this wasn’t my first rodeo. I’d done something like this before on a smaller job with some rich couple in Florida. Got away with it thanks to what you can find on social sites and with “friends” on dark web who make it easy. Geez, it’s crazy the stuff that’s available out there for a price. All I needed was a couple birthdays, maiden names and violà, I’m them. Getting picture IDs and pretending to be them was easy.

But for this one, I had to have a clever plan for it to work. Took me awhile before I came up with it. First, I needed to find a guy who could made fake IDs — they had to be good. No hack job that’s easy to spot. For this prize I was going to go all out.

I knew my skills weren’t gonna cut it. Found a place on the dark web to do the job right! The guy’s in China. Or that’s where he said he was. Could be a neighbor. Never know for sure.

I gave him what I had on the guy. Paid him with Bitcoin and was surprised when the thing did show up. Came in a weird envelope. Gave it a hard look. Not bad. It ought to pass for legit.

So now I was ready to do this thing. I had it all worked out — I’d got online on my laptop and pretended to be Steven’s money man. I tested the bank’s log-in before and all they just wanted some personal info. Bang. I’d be in. Nothing to cause mistrust.

Well things didn’t go as I hoped. The bank now had some new tech and changed the way to log-in. They wanted me to show ‘em a driver’s license and take a selfie. Bet they’re matching ‘em up to compare faces.

I used my phone to take a picture of my fake ID and sent it through. Next, I snapped a selfie by taking a photo of the guy’s picture off of my computer screen. They had me do that three times in a row at different distances. Didn’t take but 20 seconds. Yet with each picture I was getting a sinking feeling that maybe this new tech was a trap for guys like me.

Yup! I did get caught. Never did get a dollar from him and now that I’m sitting in a prison cell where it’s gonna be harder to pull off a scam.

During the trial I learned that this new tech was actually a lot more clever than just comparing my selfie to my ID. The tech the bank used is called “CatfishAIR” and used all sorts of artificial intelligence to figure out who is legit and who is not. Seems I was way out of my league on this one from the start.

Guess this catfish got hooked.